“Good Enough”
Today I had one of those light bulb moments, the light shone bright in my eyes!!!!
I have carried around for many years the thought of always “Not being good enough”, not being a good enough friend, not being a good enough daughter, partner, lover, nurse etc etc. I’m sure many can relate to this. How some core belief within ourselves has driven us again and again to view our actions, thoughts and feelings as just not meeting the barre!!
Then as I was walking along the river today with the autumn sun warming my face, and the usual playlist of thoughts playing in my internal headphones I heard I voice within shout out “Good enough for fucking what???”. These words shook me to the core and hit me around the head like a sledgehammer simultaneously. Stopped in my tracks I laughed to myself and said..” Yes what the hell are you trying to be good enough at?”.
We place so much emphasis on being “Good Enough” but have we ever thought what we are trying to be good enough at? Are we good enough to be a world class athlete? Are we good enough to be a blockbuster director? What limitations are we placing on ourselves that aren’t even part of what we want to be.
How about being good enough at being ME!!! If I’m good at being me, then me can be as good as whatever I become. We all have different roles too so are we saying we can’t be good enough in some parts, not that great in some but god I’m the best at being that part!! We might not think we are good enough for that job, but we know we are good enough at being the wife and mother! Where do we place our value?
Thinking about this I visioned breaking it down further!!!
I am me and I am whole, but within the whole there are other parts making that whole up. Imagine going back to your first grade maths…….. Four quarters make a whole, eight eights make a whole etc etc ( you know what I’m saying).
So imagine what makes you up as a person; I’m a wife, daughter, friend, nurse, EFT practitioner, dancer, ukulele player for example. Each of those parts add up to make me, but I’m not good at all of those things.
But I’m good enough at being me. If I had 100 coins and had to distribute them between each part I wouldn’t necessarily do it equally. Some parts would get more then others, but all added together would still make 100. Seeing that the separate parts aren’t stand alone parts, they are jigsaw pieces within a frame that is me. So my thinking again went back to that belief, I may not be good enough ukulele player or I could be a better runner. But those parts alone don’t define who I am so neither should the belief of being “not good enough”.
I will now look at that belief very differently, “What is it I want to be good enough at? How will I know I’m good enough? What will I be doing? What do I need to do to get there?” and you know what? I will take those steps to do it! I may stumble and I may fall, but I will be moving forward!
The only thing I won’t be doing is “not being GOOD ENOUGH to try!!”
What beliefs are your different parts holding. We often will see our whole selves as being “unlovable” or “broken”, “upset” and “hurt”. When actually those beliefs are just part of the picture. A part that with the correct intervention can be supported to release and let go of the emotions and energy holding it stuck in its capsule of pain and hurt.
Emotional Freedom Techniques, offer just that; a way to let go of the old and welcome in more of the parts that are able to show us another way to be; the parts of joy, the parts of curiosity, of trust and faith.
Get in touch if you would like to discuss how this could support you to find that path of change.
hello@juliannealexander.co.uk
